LETS FIX THIS!

girlfriends and giggles, sunshine and toes,
bare feet and roses, gentle wind blows.

A heart in love spans any length
but a broken spirit saps the strength.

God is good, Jesus best,
God provides, God directs.




PSALM 69(sort of)
Save me I'm Drowning!
I'm breathing water to try and pass out.

I'm tired of calling for help
I'm bored with crying

I praised God for what he gave
and was made out to be a fool.

Drunks look and say
"Ach, forget about love man, just get what you can."





as Christians we say
"God will guide you" "God is growing you with suffering"
"Just focus on Jesus" "Just trust Him and let it go"

People hold their breath when they ask how I am.
My eyes give me away as I lie and say "I'm okay"
We both know I'm not, but we can't change it, so we change the subject.
"What have you been doing?"

I HAVE BEEN BUSY SURVIVING!!!
I had a terrible headache and realised it was because
I literally wasn't BREATHING ENOUGH!!!
My OWN BODY dosen't even CARE enough that it is ALIVE to provide itself with OXYGEN!
It is a daily fight to keep from giving up alltogether.

"Oh, just working. I've been Doing a lot of reading" Is the verbalised answer.

"Good deal, You should really just dig into Jesus."

NO $#!T EINSTIEN!!! WHERE ELSE COULD I POSSIBLY GO!!
I KNOW WHO GOD IS AND I KNOW TURNING ANYWHERE BUT TO HIM IS WORTHLESS!WHO DO THINK LET THIS HAPPEN!!

"Yeah definatly, That's always good." is what I say outloud.

I'm in the word constantly and I am in every study I can invite myself to attend. And Jesus shows up! He really does! He gives me strength. He says he knows the plans he has for me and that they are plans to give me hope and a future. BUT THE PAIN IS STILL THERE AND HE HASN'T TAKEN IT AWAY!

People treat me like I don't know anything about God. as if to say "we're glad you came but, maybe if you knew God like I do, God would make your life better."

If I were okay and you were in my situation you'd want to know God the way I do.

I know that I'm an american and my life is great in comparison to anywhere else in the world. I am spoiled rotten, I am blessed for no reason. I have a great family who loves me and a roof over my head and food to eat every day. But it is rediculous to look at a person who has had his arm ripped out of it's socket and say, "Hey you ungreatfull wretch, just be thankfull you have legs and another arm with fingers on it. some people don't even have those." or "you know just give it time and it will heal" Meanwhile the bleeding armless guy is screaming "MY ARM IS RIPPED OFF! SOMBODY GET A @$!% NEEDLE AND THREAD AND LET'S FIX THIS!!"