Why is it that I don't believe the things that I know. I know that God is good. I know that when bad things happen, God works them out for good if we love and trust Him. I know that God is in control. So why do I still feel like I'm going outside my mind? What is God doing to me? (said the particle of space dust) God does know what he is doing. But for right now it really dosen't feel good.

Amidst the feeling of wanting to run through a wall into a giant foodprocessor, God has taught me a couple of things. Don't just praise Him for what he does. Praise him for who he is. Don't just be happy in His gifts, be happy in HIM.

...And then I break out in lyrics.

Would you accept me for what I am and for what I'm not,
Would you leave if you found the things I haven't got
Would you run before I'm warned of why you're running
You know I swear I swore I never saw it coming.

Tell me truly, Truly what it is You see.
Why You punch right through me spontaneously.
God, tell me who I'm to be, what I'm to believe.
Things I know and things I see, Why won't they just agree?

Would you reject me for what I am and for what I'm not,
and redirect me from all the things that I had thought?
Tell me truly who it is you want me to be.
These thoughts are stuck like glue the way that you were to me.